Women want what they want. agreed
But truth be said, its only a matter of time before their eyes shift to something else.
But there are a few things women NEED.
This needs are not born out of a want being unattended to for so long(refer to part I),
they are born out of a four letter word- LOVE
but then here lies the mistake men make.
1. Mens definition of love is miles apart and rainbow-colors different from a woman’s.
2. For a man, one size fits all.
While a man will define his love by his gifts, helping with groceries, paying the bills, washing the dishes, taking out garbage and doing laundry, all a woman wants is a few things that wont take money, energy, and most times would not even take more time than a man is willing to spend. (Wait a minute, I take that back)
now you wonder why you are not just feeling that connection anymore. Just retrace your steps… then you were there for her, you listened (prolly took notes) and she felt like you would be the next star with your sales pitch and all that touchy-feelyness(sic)
but nowadays, all she’s saying is love is not enough…
when a woman says “love is not enough”, shes only telling you something: “you are not doing to me the things that define love (to me)”.
The word love means the same thing to every woman. But love is a cocktail. Every woman determines how much of what is in theirs…
to sum it up, love to a woman is made of 3 As
anything a woman really wants is embedded in one of those 3
When she wants to talk, she wants to talk. She doesn’t want to watch Wetv or Oprah, so please talk. Just dont keep quiet. Listen. She may talk for 3 hours and say nothing(they usually realize this after), please listen. Generally though, if you listen and interrupt not, their speeches cant last for more than 30 minutes.
When she gets into her impulsive mood (they all do), dont say “oh God!!”. If you must, please say it in your mind.
She loves it when you pay attention to detail. Literarily. And in “every” way…..
When she thinks its time to fight over an issue that was resolved last year, please dont tell her it was already resolved. Renegotiate, reapologize give her a…
But then thats not all the assurance she needs.
You need to show her 25 years from now, you will be a better person than you are today. Men think a 2 year plan is enough. Nope. A woman wants a plan A, B and C and wants a 30 year plan for at least 2 of the 3! If you don’t have one, then conjure one before her alarm clock on that issue goes off. You may never go at her pace, but She needs to get assurance that you are still on track.
She also needs assurance that you will remain the man that she knew and loved when you were still “toasting”. Don’t think its over when she says “yes”. All she has said is “show me what you got”.
Buy her gifts without breaking the bank. (Don’t think she will overlook a giftless birthday because you are broke from buying her an xmas gift). Gifts don’t appeal to a womans eyes as much as they appeal to her heart, though her eyes also loves good stuff o… (lol) and that will be a perfect prelude to a myriad of events all summed up in one word……
As important as men take this last point, it means nothing to women without the previous 2. you try to touch without listening or telling her “it wont happen again” and see(lol).
PS: touching is for married couples ONLY!!!
it not just the physical activity. She will love to go out. Doesn’t have to be the signature room or Sheraton (though it helps). Meeting with other couples so she can show off the platinum she didn’t ask for. A movie. A reciprocal massage(marrieds only abeg), a “baby appreciation night”. Jacuzzi for 2(marrieds only o…hmmm). All these cost less that 20 bucks.. or 2k naira
believe me, for a real woman, all that fancy is icing on the cake.
To sum it up, although we know all a woman needs is love, She defines love in her own terms.
For the woman, one size sure doesn’t fit all.
Men take note.
Written by Dr. Gbolahan Ogunbayo