34-year-old Amina Mosley is concerned about her dad’s health and decided to write Iyanla an intimate letter about her father who has 34 bilogical children with 17 different women. Amina is the first child of Jay Williams, a video producer in Atlanta and she cannot just fathom the fact that her siblings are growing year by year. To put a stop on this, Amina Mosley decided to open up to Iyanla Vanzant.
Amina adds that she was apprehensive about appearing on the show but learned it was about “healing” and finding peace. She writes:
“Before your show I never felt like just one of 34. I have always had a great and close relationships with 8 of my siblings that I do know. We have a very supportive and loving family overall. We are in constant contact, so it has always felt totally normal. Sure, I always knew that I had an unusual amount of siblings out there, and yes, I RESENTED my father for it. I never, however, despised what he created. All of my siblings are a blessing and they all matter, but I resented what he would NOT do. Yes my mother is the first, and she is amazing woman, nothing short of an inspiration. She has done great on her own, despite my father’s absence, and having so many children, it would be asinine to say he wasn’t necessary. It was just extremely difficult for us to expect anything from him at all. Let’s be honest, you cannot expect a man with 34 children to do something as ordinary as tucking you into bed every night. You certainly cannot expect that same man to put you and your 33 siblings through college. You cannot expect to see him during the holidays, your birthday, or even at your college graduation. Zero expectations, zero consistency. What does a person like that teach a child about how to socialize? Have no expectations? Have no voice? Set no boundaries? I will admit that I have had to ask myself each of those questions at different points in my life but the reoccurring question was always: “When will the day come when my Father will be held accountable and how?”
I thought that day had come when I was invited to join you on your show “Iyanla fix my life.” You were featuring a segment on my father, the man who has 34 biological children with 17 different women. When I was asked to participate I was apprehensive simply because I was not buying it. There was no way that anyone could “fix” my Father. His poor choices have disappointed me, and so many others countless times and I never thought the day would come where he would truly have the opportunity to face his demons. I fought with myself for a bit about my participation, but call it curiosity or wishful thinking, I decided to continue with the show.
I joined my siblings on the couch as we sat across from you, and then my father entered the room. In that particular moment, it felt like seeing a ghost. I hadn’t had any contact with my Father in over a year, and I was not at all pleased to be in presence. I just could not seem to wrap my head around my father knowing exactly how to reach me and where to find me all of this time but was only willing to talk when there was a camera around. Needless to say, my guard was up, and I did not believe that anything positive could come from this show. I began to worry about my siblings feelings, my family’s reputation, and I even questioned how I could receive any healing with my Father from that conversation. I left Atlanta feeling frustrated. All of the feelings about my Father that I had long since suppressed had resurfaced, and I did not want to deal with them, so I didn’t. I tucked my feelings away as I had so effortlessly done before, out of site out of mind. That is until the first show aired.
Sure I had heard the story before, after all it is my family, but it certainly did not feel like my family that I was watching on television. It was as if I was listening to someone else’s story, about a family that I didn’t even know. I could not believe that this man has 34 children! I could not believe that all of these women just let him get away with this! Why didn’t he just get a vesectomy? How did he get to this point? Furthermore, How can this be “fixed”? So just like any other viewer, I tuned into the next episode, and the next, and the next. I was able to see how what he created actually looked from another perspective, and was left with one question: Who holds him accountable?”
To read the full letter written by the worried daughter, click “Dear Iyanla, Thank You for ‘Fixing’ My Father”
You can also watch this short video clip below