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Marriage and Religion!

by Mo Aremu

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When to talk about it is before you take that ring!.

Once you know you are dating someone who has a different religion from yours and the relationship is getting serious, talk about your different religious background.

Never ignore the importance of this because religion affects marriages a lot. One minute you think you are so in love and nothing matters, the next minute you regret ever meeting your spouse.

Reasons why you need to discuss this issue

  1. The children. When the children start to grow they will need to be brought up based on set values. You cannot bring a child up on two religious backgrounds because sometimes religious doctrines are never the same and trying to teach children both religions will only confuse them.
  2. The future of your family. A marriage based on uncertainty has no future. If you leave the topic for a later date just because you want to avoid conflict, you will be forced to revisit the issue when conflict arises.
  3. Family. Some members of your family will definitely have reservations and it is good to respect the family wishes to avoid long time conflict.
  4. Hidden resentment. A lot of times unknowing to you, your spouse might have reservations about your religion and talking about it will only enlighten both parties
  5. Possible conversion. Sometimes an individual might be willing to convert to his/her spouse’s religion, but without discussing the issue you will not know what your partners’ intentions are.
  6. Conflicting beliefs. Sometimes religious values are very conflicting, talking about this will help educate your partner and shed light on some hidden facts.

Finally like money, religion is one the reasons why marriages breakup. Couples do not read the fine prints and they rush into marriage thinking love will ‘conquer all’ for them. Be wise and make the right decision, talk it over before you accept that ring. No matter how influential and attractive your partner is, those things will not solve the problem when the time comes for you to make the biggest decisions of your life.

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5 comments

Ada Mordi July 2, 2014 - 3:52 am

You are very right thanks!

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Bee July 2, 2014 - 5:29 am

Insightful piece. Just wondering, what about Denominational differences, where one is a witness n d other foursquare member?

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adams July 2, 2014 - 1:31 pm

really true, i have seen a situation where the husband lied to be a christian to the wife and her family now the woman says shes opting out because the man is not been sincere about his true religion also the Man’s family are not making things difficult for the woman, saying, she dragged their son to church. i learnt a serious lesson from this.

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ajimi princess December 13, 2014 - 8:58 pm

Oh Dear lord help me

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Claire Onakoya December 14, 2014 - 8:52 am

I married a man of a different culture, colour and religion and he is from Nigeria. I am not religious in any sense and he knew this. He came from a muslim family but is christian but keeps his beliefs to himself. We have four children and fourteen years of marriage together. We loved each other and are both open minded. Neither of our families interfere whatsoever into our marriage. We work hard, love our children and enjoy our life!!!!

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