The domestic violence story that led to the death of Ronke Bewaija Shonde today broke my heart and took me back to memory lane .
Yes, that is my ex-husband and me. I was just 19 years on that photo , you can see the innocence in my eyes .We were perfect, very perfect outside but we fought inside . You see that smile on that picture was plastic . I was beaten to the altar on my wedding day . What happened? because I was tired and refused to pack plate . I swallowed it and matched to the altar .
With tears In my eyes, the pastor asked will you take him as your husband for better for worse , till death do you part?? Tears rolled down my eyes but the crowd clapped, screaming tears of joy I embarked on the journey of marriage . At the age of 19 years, I endured like a lion . This fine young man here is an animal .
He beat me up and even beat up my younger once . The day he beat me to a coma that I was rushed to the hospital, do you know what my mother in law told me as I gained consciousness? she said (Nkiru, lucky will beat you again o!! get ready because the father beat me too). I went back into the coma.
He begged and I went back home . This continued until I decided to face reality. But the truth is, do you know why we women endure domestic violence?
1) Financial security: Yes, I was scared to leave because I did not know how to begin financially .
2) Society: Yes after bragging to my friends and the society see you as a lucky perfect girl, you will want to keep it that way .
3) Loneliness: Yes, you are scared if u will find someone better. I was saying who will marry me again with my bosom like this, stretch marks, milk was still coming out of my bosom then, my big stomach etc. I was insecure so I stayed .
Until one day, when I woke up and took a strong decision to walk away. And when I left, I left with nothing .
I left empty handed and embarked on my journey. I kept repeating my name , Nkiruka , Nkiruka , Nkiruka (my future is bigger ) until I reached my destination. Now I can hit my chest and tell myself I took the right step , even though I never knew where I was going .
We really need to say NO to domestic violence.