Relationship Matters: Are You A Lady? - Wedding Digest Naija
Home Inspirations Relationship Matters: Are You A Lady?

Relationship Matters: Are You A Lady?

by WDN


Hey lady! This is the way every African woman wants to be addressed (Thanks to the late Fela Anikulapo kuti). We often want to be well addressed and rightly treated by the opposite sex. But how many of us are ready to do those things that will make them treat us the right way? How many women are knowledgeable when it comes to simple etiquette?

Simple etiquette is not about good clothes, shoes, bags, and make-up. You can wear the most expensive designer and still be an object of mockery. You are not a lady because you have some good cash in your bank account and you are married to the richest man in town. Being a lady is more about your carriage; how you sit, walk, stand, talk, look, laugh, and so on. Okay, let us look at those attributes that make you a proper lady.


A lady does not fight or exchange words in public. I feel so ashamed of myself when I see ladies, well dressed ladies, exchanging words and in some cases, step out of their vehicles to fight.
A lady eats honourably in public gatherings; she does not take spare bags along for take-away. I see ladies, especially the owambe ladies in Lagos State, entering party venues with beautiful gift bags. I used to believe they are for their gifts to the celebrant until I was corrected. What is new about the food and drinks? Must you disgrace yourself and stand up fighting for food? You think people don’t see you, but your name is all over the place and that has become your trademark.

A lady knows how to fix breakfast, lunch, and dinner for family and friends; she spends less on restaurants. I wonder when I see husbands and children carry food flasks to restaurants in the morning just because mummy could not serve breakfast. It is sad that some husbands now eat food prepared by other women in their own house. The man is busy enjoying his local delicacy believing his wife is the best cook on earth without knowing that all she can prepare is fried rice and Indomie.
Some women now pay restaurant operators to make different kinds of soup which they leave in their freezer for oga and his visitors. Sir, it is time you show how romantic you can be by volunteering to help out in the kitchen while she prepares your favourite soup fresh in your presence.
A lady does not go vulgar; she knows what not to say. Some women are now worse than area boys. All we now hear from them are dirty words and senseless ways of greeting. Women now go for nicknames that tell people they are nothing but street girls.


A real lady will never get involved in illegal businesses just because she wants to belong. Are you a drug baron or courier? Do you get involved in human trafficking and fraud? Are you one of those stealing from public treasury? Are you into giving and taking of bribes? I don’t care how many shops you have as cover up and the number of chieftaincy titles received, you are not a lady; you are just a disgrace to womanhood.
A lady knows that brushing last thing at night is a must and she gets her man to imbibe the habit. She takes it easy and often times, stays away when it comes to alcohol. She dances, but never like a maniac and psychiatric patient.
A lady knows that her feminine body must be treated specially and so she does not open her legs to every Tom, Dick, and Harry. A lady does not sell her body for some useless contracts or employments. A lady does not play the kind of game played by most ladies in Abuja, Lagos, and Port Harcourt. They get involved in all sorts of filthy things like visiting a juju priest, spiritual houses and sleeping with dead bodies just to get men to grant their requests. She is not that filthy and stinking. She lives her life one day at a time and knows that all she needs to survive is the grace of God. I must warn you at this point; if you are one of these ladies, get ready because every gift of the devil has an expiry date and it is always disastrous when that day comes.


She wipes gently, with wet wipes, her private part after urination. How many women know what it means to have wet wipes in their handbags? We bother more about designer make-up in our handbag but never about good body care.
A lady dresses and flaunts her God given curves without exposing what should be covered. She wears what accentuates her body and beauty without selling herself cheap.
A lady knows that make-up helps to enhance her beauty and so she is cautious not to allow it make her a masquerade. She knows that the silkier a woman’s body is the more feminine she looks to her man and so she uses the right moisturizer and oil for her body; never bleaching creams.
If she can’t afford to change her weaves at least every two weeks, she avoids wearing one because she knows that ours is a very hot climate and her man must breathe well at night. She does not wear her bra for one week before washing. She knows that cotton panties and underwear help her body breathe properly and so she is not attracted to those beautiful and sexy ones that are not cotton because her body is cherished.
She knows that her body is very expensive and she was bought with a price. Because her body is very expensive, she does not allow anything like tattoo on her because she knows they are not for royals.
A real lady knows that she is nothing without God and so she loves to fellowship with Him and draws her man to His presence. She does not draw her man close to night clubs and high society parties; she takes him to God’s presence because she knows that it is only in His presence that he is changed to become a real man


A real lady is never desperate for worldly titles and fame; she goes for the real thing. She is not against fame but she is not ready to sell herself cheap to the devil and his cohorts in form of men just to have those good things.
A real lady is never fake; she remembers where she is coming from. She does not pretend to be Dangote’s daughter when her mother is in the village selling baskets. She is forever proud of her background. She does not claim to have attended schools she never attended just to impress fellow humans. Like me, she could have attended community primary and secondary schools in the village, but she is never ashamed to talk about them because she knows that does not define who she is. She knows that it is not where we are coming from that matters; it is where we are and where we are going to.
A real lady loves knowledge; she spends money on books. It is sad when you see ladies uninformed in politics and leadership. Talk about the fake people of E channel and Nollywood, they are there. But ask them to tell you the capital of Tanzania and you hear it is Kenya. Ask about world war 11 and you will know that it ended on the 1st of October 1960. To these ladies, Obama’s running mate was Hillary Clinton. But talk about the date Kim Kardashian’s marriage ended and you hear the weekday and time. Ladies, go and read to understand your world


A real lady knows the ABCs of body care and fashion. She does not use pregnancy and childbirth as excuses for a protruding tummy. That you had all your children through caesarean section is never an acceptable excuse for a big tummy; go do something about it.
She knows she is an asset to any man in her life and so she does not force herself on men. She does not play unnecessary games just to get a man to marry her. A lady does not fight another woman for a man; she knows her worth and trusts God.
A lady does not pull her pant in public neither does she leave the house until she has properly looked at herself in the mirror to be sure there are no panty lines. She dresses for her body shape and wears her hair for her face type.
When she talks on phone, she is the lady she is when her phone rings. She speaks the way a lady should speak on phone and is never hasty with words. She does not disturb colleagues at work just because she wants them to know that her man is hosting a party for her.
A lady does not lie to impress anyone because she knows that it is absolutely unnecessary; she will not claim to be in Lagos when she is in Abuja. She reminds herself that her life could end where she is and so she asks herself some questions to know that there is no need for such lies. Are you a lady?

Author: Amara Blessing

Leave A Reply

You may also like


missymama October 26, 2013 - 6:52 am

Wow… So impressive

Estelle October 26, 2013 - 7:03 am

Great word of wisdom!

Rita Jenny October 26, 2013 - 8:46 am

i love dis!!

Frank Queen October 26, 2013 - 8:52 am

Yes oo is so inspiring tnx alot

joanna October 26, 2013 - 9:00 am

Thank you Amara..I’m really blessed…God bless you 🙂

unic October 26, 2013 - 10:08 am

Comment wow! Inspiring .I’m loving ds

Timi October 26, 2013 - 10:51 am

great words….thank you

Oladipupo Kehinde October 26, 2013 - 11:33 am

For d ladies but it so Inspiring..Enjoy it just from d beginning to d end…..Hopes u could post more abt men cos learning is d key to success

Name* October 26, 2013 - 11:36 am

Comment; Thanks amara, GOD bless u for telling dem. Many do not know.

omolaraeni October 26, 2013 - 1:14 pm

nice write up tank u .Was really inspiring

judith October 26, 2013 - 1:52 pm

I haven’t finished reading,but dis is so inspiring and true.

Faith October 26, 2013 - 2:00 pm

I really love this and thAnk you very much for posting this. Also I would love to be receiving this kind of educating materials in my mailbox.

oyinlola October 26, 2013 - 2:39 pm

Impressive ladies we all must learn sometin from this write up

Bee October 26, 2013 - 2:54 pm

Great words n eye opening indeed! Guilty of some!

princess October 26, 2013 - 3:15 pm

Nice, true story that we are all guilty of included the author.

tracy October 26, 2013 - 3:16 pm

Nice lines

cynthia October 26, 2013 - 4:12 pm

I really love this, its inspirational. I wish I could get some more at my mail box. Thanks alots

Joecy October 26, 2013 - 5:28 pm

Awesome write-up, am guilty of some…X_X

olajumoke October 27, 2013 - 5:06 am

God bless u. Its so inspiring nd I’m so hapi 4 dis piece. God help us all 2 be able 2 wrk 2wards it.

Linda October 27, 2013 - 5:23 am

Really an eye opener to some of my flaws, thank you and God help me.

lola October 27, 2013 - 5:29 am

Inspiring. God bless you.

olive October 27, 2013 - 5:34 am

Is too Impressive,ve really learn a lot frm you will buy your text book.

Lilian October 27, 2013 - 8:26 am

Wow..Daz a 9ice 1…

J.O October 27, 2013 - 1:37 pm

Awesome! Awesome!! Awesome!!! I was beginning to think I was alone in my ‘be-a-lady-world’ Thanks a lot. Please, one more…’A lady does not harass a guy to buy food(or snacks) for her. If he offers to(and it is not every offer a lady accepts), fine. If he doesn’t, please don’t bug the life out of him’ ☺

Christabel October 27, 2013 - 2:48 pm

Double wow!!! This is inspiring…a food for thought for the ladies

queen October 27, 2013 - 2:49 pm

What a great write up. Really educating. Thanks for the true talk

tayo October 27, 2013 - 4:47 pm

amazing…i was looking for something to like this…very timely.. bless you, writer.

bumy October 28, 2013 - 10:04 am

This is an eye-opener,a must read for every daughter of eve

Glory October 28, 2013 - 10:14 am

Nice one u have there. I love it.

Ruth October 28, 2013 - 10:55 am

very interesting

pam October 31, 2013 - 2:26 pm

Now I knw how I should live up to the standard of being a ‘lady’ in every sense of the word.

chizzy November 1, 2013 - 4:37 pm

A very nice and educating one keep it up

Adeola November 2, 2013 - 2:39 pm

Yes,though i got to knw sometins i neva care abt……..Tanks,Amara

ruth November 2, 2013 - 2:48 pm

Impressive write up every lady have a word to keep includind the author.

Ng November 2, 2013 - 3:05 pm

Amazing piece. Thanks dear.

Uniqueka Jenkins November 2, 2013 - 4:29 pm

Very nice! I wish more women were actually interested in being ladies!

chikky November 2, 2013 - 5:03 pm

Wow!!! Dis is da bomb. Very true… Very educating…

chummy November 2, 2013 - 5:08 pm

My dear thank God for ur life,the spirit are d same.I just came out from ladies seminar,d same teaching

Ngozi November 3, 2013 - 7:05 am

Nice it.

Laryormee November 4, 2013 - 4:09 am

This is interesting….More of it please

fomtina November 4, 2013 - 11:01 am

wow! I love this

Leelee November 6, 2013 - 10:57 am

Seriously?! Your words are full of condemnation than advice. This write-up practically sells your own ideals than what is obtainable by the average Nigerian girl. Some words are true but others are begging for realism and the avoidance of stereotype

Esther Emmanual January 8, 2014 - 7:37 am

I love dis. Thank u

Temilola January 8, 2014 - 7:58 am

hmmm… Very dis writeup 4rm beginin to end.

Stella January 8, 2014 - 8:39 am

So So inspiring….. Lovely word of Wisdom…. Thanks so much cos am in love with ur write-ups… Kudos to yu girl!!!

Becky January 8, 2014 - 9:39 am

Good Word…..I am so touched

Peace January 8, 2014 - 10:03 am

Hmmm dis is absolutely true and very inspiring. God Bless You for dis write up.

Name* January 8, 2014 - 10:50 am

Wow, dis is d best rite up I hav come across dis year. Tanx Amara.

lase January 8, 2014 - 12:36 pm

Nice write up. I’m impressed and inspired.

bimbo January 8, 2014 - 3:07 pm


JOSSY January 8, 2014 - 5:09 pm

This is a great piece. May God make me more of a lady! God bless u.

A.J January 8, 2014 - 5:58 pm

Awesome. I must tell it to all my female friends.

mamah January 8, 2014 - 7:51 pm

Nice write up,but I’m nt sure abt d idea of wet wipes(medically),maybe a dry tissue will be better,a Doctor can expalin better….thanks

mamah January 8, 2014 - 7:56 pm

Very nice

mamah January 8, 2014 - 8:15 pm

Or rinse with water*

Tolextra January 8, 2014 - 11:50 pm

This article is to say d least, condescending &hypocritical. U pass d message that you have to be perfect to be a lady, when u urself can’t be perfect. As far as I’m concerned,u defined ur own standards,but u shld respect those of other women. I don’t know d capital of Tanzania or when World War II ended,but I know enof to make me a balanced person, &even if I have no interests whatsoever in politics,a flat tummy or in brushing every night,or I’m an atheist &so I have no relationship with any God (though I actually do), it still doesn’t make me any less a lady. That part about having a flat tummy @ all cost is simply vain &illogical. So all women with “unflat” tummies aren’t qualified? Gimme a break please. Wanna really give a perfect description of a lady? Find it in Proverbs 31:10-31. She is a virtuous woman, not a vain one. Let God and love be behind your future articles please.

mamah January 9, 2014 - 6:47 am

@tolextra,I do support in a way,I’ve neva bin prego b4 but,its nt easy 4 a nigerian woman 2 keep a flat tummy unless one has a very fast metabolism bcus d kind of food we eat are high in carbs nd fat,so,its nt easy 2 loose weight,also,evry vagina smells, our vagina is nt supposed 2 smell like flowers,tho a fishy odour mite min an infection.I’ll advice not 2 use wet wipes cuz it can alter d PH of d vagina,dereby killing beneficail bacteria leavin d bad ones 2 grow,makin it open 2 infection nd possibly cancer.*smiles*

Beatrice January 9, 2014 - 7:39 pm

Very lovely post a.must learn by every true lady

Abbie January 23, 2014 - 8:35 pm

As much as I love to love this article,I would love to say am not too impressed cos it’s like reading a book about life wanting to live your life according to what it’s written in the book,which will never work.U’ve got to experience life yourself to know what life really is.I don’t want to memorize how a lady’s to act in my head and let that guide me,the body is not a robot,my dear,sometimes you act according to a situation you find might feel bad after but then you learn your lessons afterwards,that’s how you grow to become a matured lady.You don’t give birth to a baby and expect his or her milestones to be according to the book,babies learn,so equally for you to become a man or lady,u have to grow.

Ogbuji Loveth February 5, 2014 - 5:58 pm

Nice write up. Thumbs up.

m.pearl March 2, 2014 - 10:13 pm

Wow!…………l truly appreciate every word, sentence and paragraph of dis article……..tanxxx a lot…

Nadine May 12, 2014 - 3:24 am

I totally agree with Tolextra, Mamah and Abbie. .

Meuni May 12, 2014 - 12:10 pm

Dis is a very very very nice write up!!!its all-encompassing and direct, straight to d point. God’s wisdom is continually yours Amara. I hope so many of us will learn from this and work on ourselves and den we can equally transfer good feminine values to our daughters thereby making d family,society and the [email protected] large a better and saner place. Well done.

yetunde July 6, 2014 - 6:49 pm

A very nice write up. Thanks.

tosin September 18, 2014 - 1:46 pm

Hmmn!!!u tried but not in all….u also made mistakes in some areas…anyway…nice write up

toyin September 18, 2014 - 3:20 pm

As I read on, I thought to myself ‘ dis babe dey vex o’
You spoke your mind and got the message accross. Nice one!

seun September 19, 2014 - 5:02 am

whao, i luv dat so inspiring, i salute u

jamylah September 20, 2014 - 6:38 am

True in some part, bt not sure of d odas. Hope to imbibe d part I agree with, nicee

Lola February 16, 2015 - 4:53 pm

Nice article I agree with almost everything you said except the child bearing part and current affairs aspect. You need to understand that child bearing is not a child’s play. Most ladies wish to go back to how they were before having a baby some are lucky but other aren’t. Our bodies are different. Also about history & current affairs I careless. The most important thing in terms of current affairs is known the most important issues that can affect my family & the world in general. Don’t forget that everyone has his or her interest. About brushing at night my dear honestly it is the right thing to do but how practical is it?

omowumi raji April 24, 2015 - 8:05 am

food of thought for ladies I love dis rite up

juliet omagu July 13, 2015 - 7:46 pm

Awesome thanks dear

Meesee August 13, 2015 - 10:09 am

Nice one but flat tummy, wet wipes……….

Faith musa November 13, 2015 - 2:20 pm

Beautifull so beautifull thats all i can say and this teach me alot i wish there is a way i can be recieving such messages daily or on a weekly basis this is motivating and awakening thanks Amara Blessing so this beautifull write up

Lucky Rejoice November 14, 2015 - 8:39 am

Nice one

vivian November 23, 2016 - 10:39 am

This article is very funny but inspiring.


Leave a Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Social Share Buttons and Icons powered by Ultimatelysocial

Enjoy this blog? Please spread the word :)

%d bloggers like this: