Relationship Matters: Don’t Mistake a Man who is a college drop-out with no job as a failure - Wedding Digest Naija
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Relationship Matters: Don’t Mistake a Man who is a college drop-out with no job as a failure

by WDN

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Honestly, I get a little upset with men or women of God who suggest that a good man is this or that. Then they assert that a bad man is this or that. I have always disagreed with these models of what makes a man or woman “good”, because what we fail to realize is what some may deem a bad catch the day you meet them may be a billionaire five years later. Let’s use Steve Jobs for example… If I remember correctly, Mr. Jobs was adopted, had no college degree, dropped out of college, and moved back home to start working out of the family garage.

Many women would have immediately dismissed him as a dreamer and said “he needs to go get a real job”. When you hear advice about what a man should be, I want you to always understand, just because a man doesn’t look like it today doesn’t mean he won’t be tomorrow. I see women make this mistake over and over again. If a woman is selfish and her motives are not based in love, she will overlook a good man and run to a bad man with all the trappings of apparent success, but no real success.

Let’s get brutally honest now. Many of you care more about a freaking credit score than actual cash in the bank, which means you know nothing about finances or the financial system. If I put before you a choice between a 720 credit score or $500,000 in cash, which one do you think most people are going to take? Of course the cash, because wise financial people understand the credit scoring system can be manipulated.

I want to encourage your heart today by writing this “Don’t judge a man by his money, material things, or current circumstances; however, do judge him on his character and where he is going.” Nothing is more important than the character of a man, and that is a part of his net worth. You see ladies; men all over America are insecure right now because they feel their worth as a man is tied to their income and net worth. Thus, a man will avoid marrying until he feels financially secure enough to marry you… simply because he feels you will reject him if he has holes in his financial armor. True or not, this is a real and current dilemma in America right now. It’s not something that is talked about enough, but trust me men are refraining from marriage based strictly on avoiding rejection or the discussion of not feeling secure financially.

Now, of course, we know a truly great woman would care less about this and would be able to see the greatness in a man. As I always say, “A great woman will be with you broke and a not so great woman will leave you when you are broke.” Please understand that all things in life are temporary and a person doesn’t have to stay where you currently see them. However, if you can’t be there at their worse then you shouldn’t be there at their best. If you bail during the hard times, then you are showing behavior that is selfish and extremely shallow or carnal.

The lesson in my article is this: Ladies, you will never know what a man will become. Never judge a man by his circumstances, because I am sure many thought Steve Jobs was a failure way back when. Some failure he turned out to be, right? It’s so immature and wrong to judge a man by his material possessions. Also, just because a man doesn’t have a job right now doesn’t make him a loser. Neither does living with his parents or not driving a nice car. There could be a very valid reason he is living with his parents, but you will never know if you immediately judge him.

I suggest that we start to judge what may be beneath the material things. When I see someone who is flashy, it’s obvious insecurity, attention seeking, or an attempt to numb some wound they are dealing with. Are there expectations to this rule? Of course there are. However, in most cases, beneath the flashiness is a lot of pain and insecurities. It’s more important to look at the drive, fire, and passion a person will possess after losing a job or the drive they have to become an entrepreneur. There are millions of everyday men who will be your knight in shining armor, but they aren’t rich. However, he wakes up every day to become amazing at what he does well. Regardless of whether that’s a plumber or a sanitation engineer, our value as human beings is not created by what we do, but *who* we really are. Think about this with the man who is in your life right now and the one you meet next.

Author: Quentin McCall

Photo Courtesy [email protected]_enchill


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2 comments

Eny February 17, 2015 - 11:28 am

God bless!

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success king February 17, 2015 - 7:35 pm

Some men also see patience women. and women who stand by them when they had nothing to when they are something and dey don’t value rather they break their heart and leave.

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