I attended a conference yesterday and out of the things that were discussed, I just had to share this fact that I find so true and common. Why is it that the way we relate to our spouse in front of others is totally different from our attitude behind closed doors. People see us relating to our spouses and they desire so much the joy and love that they see in our marriage and covet it but what they do not know that behind closed doors, we are indeed strangers to our spouses living on borrowed character.
We tend to love the image of a perfect marriage more than actually having a happy home. It matters to us more what people think about how we treat our partners than we actually making our partner happy. We are lackadaisical with caring for our partners, unmoved by what they feel and we have become too complacent in our homes but when we go out there we are the epitome of an upright home. We do not care when our partners sneeze or cough at home, we do not even take our eyes off the television to say sorry when they trip but outside the home, we run to their side and offer a tissue while patting their back. People see this and marvel and desire what we have but they just cannot see what happens behind the curtains.
I am of a strong opinion that we should place our priorities right. Making our partners happy and content is of more relevance than our public image because if that union breaks down, there would then be no image to sustain. It is a matter of placing priority on things that actually matter. We should respect our partners right in the home as we would do in front of other people. What kind of partner are we when no one is watching? Does our spouse always desire visitors to come into our home just so they can get an outstanding treatment and feel special? Do we only peck, neck, and kiss our spouse when people are there so they can talk about how passionate we are? Do we only clean our home when people are visiting?
Why does our image really matter if our home is a shadow of what it should be? Do those people matter more than the person we pledged our life to? The sincere truth is, if we can be so good and caring outside the home when surrounded by other people, that means we actually have it in us, why then do we get so familiar inside our homes? We need to stop living on borrowed character and be who our spouses need us to be both indoors and outdoors.
Let us live, learn and grow because the journey is still far and it is not for the fainthearted!!!
Writer: Tunde Oni