The Long Distance Relationship. - Wedding Digest Naija
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The Long Distance Relationship.

by Mo Aremu

A lot of times families split into two, one party (usually the man) leaves for overseas and the other party (wife and children if any) stay back in Nigeria or vice versa. The plan is that the husband makes preparations for his family to join him.
Sometimes however things do not go as planned and a trip of 3 to 6 months turns into a year or more. Usually what people dream of these countries is far from imagination. The moment they leave the airport, it dawns on them and the hustle begins. Sometimes some men get lucky, they hustle and are successful but a lot of times these guys get carried away and they get stuck. They stop calling the wife they left behind in Nigeria and result to marrying citizens (white ladies, akata etc for ‘papers’). It is so surprising that some spouses even find out about their husbands on face book, twitter or blackberry. These men impregnate the women abroad lie about their marital status and continue to live a lie. Their extended families back home are held ransom as their wives’ families begin to ask questions which they have no answers to. They usually say whatever their son tells them. In some cases some mothers have actually had opportunities to travel to visit their sons and find out the whole truth but they still continue to fool the wife at home.
The wife on the other hand is being mocked by men back home, she becomes a lonely woman, cannot socialize because people ask questions to which she has no answers. Some women even claim not to have their husbands’ telephone numbers and they can only speak to him whenever he calls.
There was a situation where a guy called his wife and she heard a baby crying at the background, she asked her husband whose baby that was but he said he was at a friend’s place only for the child to shout daddy daddy daddy, she said all she could do was drop the phone because all her fears had been confirmed.
A lot of times these wives sacrifice so much, borrow money from friends for the husband to travel, take cash advance from work or I owe you. Well I can continue to give you instances and the list will be endless.
Who do we blame for all these?
Would you blame a woman for cheating when her husband leaves for months without calling on a regular basis?

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Abolanle April 3, 2014 - 4:59 am

Its a very pathetic situation. People in the cause of searching for greener pastures get themselves involved in things uncalled for. God help us all! Personally, I do not blame the man who in quest to survive marries an oyibo woman to get stay. What I blame them for is; forgetting they have a family back home. This is to tell what country we are, cos I donot think someone from arab country will ever so such to his family. May God indeed help us in this country.

Seun April 3, 2014 - 8:57 pm

Too badt.So painful…..I’m a victim of such.A joni of 3mnths nw almst 3yrs.My bf of 4yrs rltnshp plus gt dr and story chnged.Stil battlng wf d emotnal trauma.Long dstnce rltnshp is nt encouragng @ all.No mata wot apns,lyf goes on.

angeldress April 17, 2014 - 8:28 am

I don’t long distance relationship, I can’t bear it especially two couples separate.

yetty October 6, 2014 - 12:54 pm

This was a situation i found myslf. I was in a relationship Fø̲̣̣я̅ close T̶̲̥̅Ơ̴͡ 7years,and he had 2travel. I emtied Mγ bank account & sold off sme of my properties thinking he wld travel and work hard as he planned & told ♏ε̲̣ cos of †ђξ stupid love i had 4him. I went visiting sometimes this time last year & actually found out from pictures taken & saved on his apple laptop making out wt another lady. I felt like killing myslf… I wldnt even suggest 2my enemy 2go into a long distance relationship

Eve October 6, 2014 - 2:43 pm

I don’t like long distance relationships too. Often times, the man turns out to be something you never knew him to be. He may become a liar, a cheat or worst of all, forget about you. Some who have guts may tell you to your face that you are no more relevant to them. Others will keep you in the dark, your life to a stand still while theirs go on, living their American or UK dream. I prefer the man mans up to tell their wives the state of things. That way, she won’t have to cheat on him. She’ll just leave with her dignity intact. Sometimes some men marry without understanding what’s at stake. What’s d point searching for greener pastures as a married man only to abandon your family in the process. Once married you don’t think of yourself alone but of the other person. It’s just a pity really.

Niyi October 6, 2014 - 10:22 pm

Comment This is a sentimental write up, you ought to talk about women to balance your article. Then we can now begin to judge and know who is bad. Is it because you are a lady. Have you forgotten that the common says is “No Woman No Cry” ishhhh

Mashu October 31, 2014 - 10:31 pm

I am from South Africa, if I begin to tell you of all the Nigerian man that asks me out telling me that they are not married and they will give me lots of monies you will be shocked. But why is it the case?

Dr Obi Ralph July 3, 2015 - 11:02 am

Living in the diaspora is an herculean task so many things has to be considered before living your country of origin,So pathetic that once a lovely relationship will turn sour cos of distance and other related issues of integration.There are so many untold stories here abroad.Think twice before taking that decision.


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