Will I ever Have the Courage & Strength to Forgive my Husband?

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I just got married to the man I thought will be the best/dream man to me. I have known my husband for 5 years and we got married less than a year. I met him in the University but we barely knew each other. We bumped into each other on the Island a year after I graduated and we became good friends. We started confiding in each other and became really inseparable.

I don’t even want to go to all the details of how we met here….Like I mentioned earlier, we got married less than a year ago and I am 3 months pregnant at the moment.

During one of my antenatal visits, I was supposed to go visit my parents and I discussed this with my husband before I left in the morning. When I finished at the hospital, I was so tired and decided to go back home to have a nap.

On getting home later that day, I was hearing strange sounds coming from our matrimonial bedroom. I was stunned because I thought my husband mentioned he would be having a meeting with his business partners.

As I climbed the stairs to the bedroom, the noise became louder and unbearable. I opened the door to see what was actually going on, and what I saw can’t leave my imagination for the rest of my life.

My husband and his best friend’s wife were having sex on my matrimonial bed. How dare them! I was shocked and the sight of it is incomprehensible.

How long have they been doing this? Does her husband know about her infidelity? Is her husband aware his best friend is sexual intercourse with his wife? I kept asking myself different questions and I am still asking myself all over again…

I only see this kind of scenario in movies and I can’t believe it is happening under my roof, in my matrimonial bedroom.

My husband has been begging me to forgive him that it is the work of the devil and I should please keep this from his best friend. How on earth is that possible?

I am very traumatized and I am thinking of moving to my parents’s house.

Please, kindly advice, I am just shattered.

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Comments

  1. Hmmmm! Dis is so pathetic and absurd. How could ur husband do such! How could his best freind’s wife also do such! On ur matrimonial bed! Its a taboo!!! But ma candid advise is dat u should not leave ur home for any loser! If u’ll av d courage to tell ur husband’s friend wat happened btw ur husband and his wife, plz do. Just try and get urself 2geda and b strong. God is ur strength.

  2. Pls my dear friend, I understand the pains u going through because of this, but that can’t stop u not to 4give him, because he still ur husband, u can’t killed him my dear, pls my dear I need only one thing from u, I want u to just leave everything to God by ur prayers, I believe God will change every impossible things to possible for u in JESUS name Amen.

  3. Sorry dear forgive ur husband, embrace him as christ deed for us. But make sure u tell his best friend to put the devil to shame. Let ur mind be free from that swtht….enjoy your home.

    • Mosunmola Moe
    • February 15, 2015

    At this moment , you need to be very careful because of the other woman, she won’t want her husband to hear about the rubbish she has done. You need to be very conscious , she might want to harm you(God forbid). Also about your husband, you need to put your health and that of your unborn child into consideration because when there is life, there is hope. I pray that God will direct you on what to do, pleeaaaasee do not make a rash decision. You will always be in my prayers

  4. Dearest i kn this is really heartbreaking, bt u av to forgive cos marriage is one institution molded by God. it has striking rules which can neva b broken, even if ur partner breakes his, neva brake urs. Always read ur bible ad pray. God ill give u d best advice tru his word take heart

    • Mama
    • February 16, 2015

    Me are stupid like that….he might just be sorry he got caught not sorry for cheating…tell his best friend cos he needs to know….they can still decide to continue even after being caught….am sorry but your husband is dangerous, for him to sleep with his friends wife and betray you it shows he can do anything and has no regard for friendships….it’s not easy to forgive but u must do it….my husband has cheated on me before and I know how long it took me to forgive and even begin to try and trust him again…..don’t think too much cos of your condition now….u can go to your folks to ease off but not with the mindset of leaving your marriage….
    Lastly please, never never take the blame for his adultery….I say that cos people will make u feel it’s cos u are a bad wife, u did this u did that….no, every soul is responsible for their actions…trust me you just did not have enough time during courtship to see the real him….be strong, don’t sweat your energy quarreling with him….wish you safe delivery

    • TY
    • February 16, 2015

    Dear Sis, what has happened to your home is really a painful one and a very sad incident to reckon with but you have to go back to Ur creator which is God.He is ever ready to carry your burden. I don’t know your relationship with God and that of your husband but you can draw nearer to Him than you have ever done b4, you can also help your husband by leading him to Christ Jesus. I know you can’t do this all alone. You need to confide in your Pastor if you know he’s capable or look for a Counsellor that will help bring your home back to shape. The first healing you can have is to forgive your husband. Don’t leave your home for a stranger to take over. This might be too difficult for you to bear but I know God will help you through this trying time. Like I said earlier, until Ur husband come to know and accept Christ, he might still continue in the act, though you can’t force him to accept Christ but you can always put him in your prayers nd if possible, both of you should meet a Pastor or Councelllor that you trust can help you by the grace of God. It is well with you.

  5. My dear Mama has said it all. May the Lord strengthen you and keep you safe in Jesus name amen.

    • Ben
    • February 16, 2015

    While I was pregnant, I was so sick I had to go stay with my parents in Lagos because my husband was not always around.
    I suspected something was wrong, I came home to Ibadan from Lagos one Sunday morning to find my husband home with his ex girlfriend. She came all the way from calabar. Long story short we all slept in the house that night, she left in the morning.
    It’s hard to forget or trust him. Did he repent after that NO! Get busy with yourself, he might not change.

    • Fade
    • February 16, 2015

    Don’t leave your husband but forgive him… You don’t need to leave your home for that. so painful thou.

  6. sorry dear men will always be men. try n 4give him

  7. Sweetheart Please put your health and your unborn child first. I will not advice you to leave your home for anybody, this thing can happen to anybody. All you just need now is to forgive your husband and keep going so that you will have that sweet home you have been having again till you deliver your bundle of joy. Ask for the other woman. God will pay her back hundred fold.

  8. My dear I’m writing to encourage you. Ur a new wife brace yourself and determine to make ur marriage work amidst all odds. If ur hussy is not a practicing Christian you might have more of such to contend with but God forbid that he should continue on that part. So it’s not advisable to break up because of this. You don’t allow another woman to come from her home to ruin your joy. Take heart, comfort yourself in The Lord , forgive him for God’s sake and hand over the situation to God. Also note now that your prayer for your husband should boarder on salvation and watch who you allow into your home. I know the worst part of it all is not that he cheated on you but the fact that it was done on your matrimonial bed. The truth is most Nigerian women have been through your pain one time or the other in their own marriages and some made mistakes as a result, guide against that, vengeance is of The Lord, I will recompense says The Lord. And I pray he will grant you His peace and wisdom in this trying time and always. Shalom!

    • Buij
    • May 28, 2015

    I think you need to have him move out So to give you space to pray and gatter yourself. Don’t let this break you. ask for God’s help and strength.
    This is the worst part of marriage and if in the end you want to take him back, then you will need to forgive him and have him regain his trust by first having him twll the truth to his best friend, which frankly was just a facade since you do not do that to tour friend. May God see you through this tough time

    • Amusat A. A.
    • July 19, 2015

    She should not tell her husband’s friend because no one knows the group his wife belongs to. She could be the type that would send assassin to kill her in reiteration. After all, the deed has been done. Let her husband know through another source. May The Lord protect us

    • olycassie
    • July 19, 2015

    My dear am so so sorry for wat has befallen u just hold ursef n take heart beside crying in dis ur condition is very bad… Shits happens n wen it dos we d women shld stay to takia of it… If u kip running away n goin to ur father’s house den u re nt ready to get married n wen u run u giv d imposter space to cum into ur home cus Wen u Liv he will b lonely n if she cum arnd he will definitely fall bck into her soo goin to ur father’s house is sure nt d ryt tin to do stay n fight for ur man… She’s just a sex tin nt his wife u alrdy have dat position dnt let someone else take it frm u….I bliv ur mother didn’t tell u her own ordeal in wit ur father many of our mothers face terrible tins bt for d luv of d family dey stay bck n bury d pain within them nt letting d kids know wat goin on soo u shld do same… It hurts alot I know bt dis men re babies n wen dey mess up we clean dem up…. Clean up d mess in ur home n stand bfr ur man running to ur father’s house is nt d ryt option forgive him n Liv happily wit ur man… It’s very easy to forgive him doh it seems hard just overlook it n act as if it never happens a man wit a conscious will re-trace his steps…. Take heart OK it’s well

  9. Please forgive your husband and move on. Let him promise you its the last time if anything similar happens again, you would let his best friend know about what he did with his wife.

    • nike
    • July 20, 2015

    This is painful…but dont leave your home, and dont inform your husband’s friend. It easy when pple say inform the bestfriend but if you do, that is the end of your marriage. You need Wisdom in handling this issue. What do you think will happen if you inforn the bestfriend? Please ask God for wisdom dear.

    • Ahanonu Adanma
    • July 20, 2015

    Men will always be men if it was a woman that did this there would not be forgiveness and the blame is the woman but my dear sister get yourself together and move on with your life and as it regards to your husband’s best friend tell him. That woman can not do anything

    • tyna
    • July 20, 2015

    such is life. no man should be worth ur sleepless night. brace up ur self for the worst. such are the nowadays marriage for you. think your baby n ur condition first. remember BP n pregnancy are no match. the lord is ur strength.

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